Now At A Farm

It’s interesting, trying to figure out how to write a blog. I’ve spent the past decade learning and training myself on how to do social media. It’s instantaneous, fleeting, and yet feels so incredibly weighty. You look for those instant likes, comments, and engagement even if you tell yourself you don’t care. Other people’s reactions somehow reflects on your personal character as a whole. Posts are more frequent and multiple a day. They don’t carry much story (if at all). 

When I think about this blog, I think, “How much weight do I give this piece?” Does every post need to be meaningful? Valuable? Timely?

This last question is the one I struggle with the most. With social media, there is no waiting. You post. But here I am, more than a week after a mini-vacation, wondering if it’s too late to write about it.

I’ve come to the conclusion that none of this matters, this internal battle of blog versus social media. This project is to get me writing more and hold me accountable to get back down to the land more (we’re going later today). It doesn’t matter if my posts are timely, at regular intervals, or a standard length.

So.

I went to Denver for a weekend to see my youngest cousin perform a lead role in a major production. I cried multiple times both from feelings of pride and from the story itself. They were beyond incredible. I agree with the group of people next to me when, after the final bow, looked at each other and said, “Dang, that kid is good.” Yup. So good.

When I wasn’t sitting in awe of my cousin, I was spending time with family who lives in Denver and my mom, who flew out with me. Mom and I needed the trip. Badly. Dad went into the hospital a month earlier and we had been living and breathing care-taking. We needed a perspective shift, a clearer view of what was going on so we could shift into the next phase of recovery. (yes, we were recovering too)

Mom slept in without worrying about when she had to wake up. I woke early, curled up with a book, and sipped on the best home-brewed coffee I’ve ever had. My new life goal is to get the coffee machine my aunt has.

I took good long walks with mountains glowing under the sunshine in the distance. I rested as best as I could. I got a scoop of activated charcoal and a scoop of taro vegan ice cream. I cuddled with a cute lil dog and played with another one. I learned a new game with my cousins. I read Robin Wall Kimmerer‘s newest book, Serviceberry. <this is my recommendation to go read this

I flew home feeling a bit more grounded in myself, yet still in desperate need of rest. I got the perspective shift, the time away with mom to process what was happening at home. But I needed three more days to just sleep and stare at mountains and breathe in the fresh air. The trip was too short.

Luckily, I’m heading to Cleveland this weekend for a mini solo trip. The main purpose is to go see a good friend play rugby (makes a mental note to go find a ‘wtf is rugby’ video so I know what is happening) and work on my novel. I have a cute little Airbnb booked right in the arts district.

I’m ready for a good bit of rest.